THE MIDLIFE EDIT PODCAST
The Version of Me I Haven’t Met Yet
What if you don’t need to know who you’re becoming?
ABOUT THE CONVERSATION
What if you’re not lost?
What if you’re just between versions?
I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I am. But lately I've been wondering if I'm asking the wrong question.
After The Ghostwriters and The Blank Page, I finally got the pen back. And almost immediately, I started putting pressure on myself to figure out what comes next.
The next goal. The next career. The next version of me. Maybe I don't need to know yet. Maybe midlife isn't about finding some old version of ourselves that we lost along the way. Maybe we get to meet someone new.
And honestly? I really fucking love that idea.
There are things I'm going to love that I don't even know exist yet. People I haven't met. Places I haven't been. Things I'll try and suck at. Things I'll quit. Things I'll change my mind about.
I don't need the next version of me to be better.
I want her to be more mine.
That comes straight out of the central turn in the episode: getting the blank page and realizing you were immediately pressuring yourself to write the “perfect” next chapter.
IN THIS EPISODE
Jen gets honest about not knowing exactly who she's becoming—and why she might finally be okay with that.
Why “finding yourself” might be the wrong goal
The pressure to know exactly what comes next
Why gratitude and wanting more can exist in the same life
The problem with becoming the “best version of yourself”
Letting yourself try, quit, fail, and change your mind
Why being between versions doesn't mean you're lost
The question Jen is asking instead: Who haven't I met yet?
THE VERSIONS I HAVEN'T MET YET
THE ONE WHO CARES LESS
About the things that take up way too much space in my head right now. I hope 50-year-old me looks back and wonders why the hell I cared so much.
THE ONE WHO CHANGES HER MIND
She gets to try something, love it, hate it, quit it, come back to it—or decide it isn't for her anymore. None of it has to become a statement about who she is.
THE ONE WHO DOESN'T NEED A REASON
She likes things because she likes them. She goes to the concert. She writes. She makes things. She doesn't need everything she loves to become productive, profitable, or useful.
THE ONE WHO IS MORE MINE
I'm not interested in chasing some imaginary "best version" of myself. I want to make decisions because they're mine—even when they don't make sense to everybody else.
THE ONE I CAN'T IMAGINE YET
This might be my favorite one. The woman whose favorite song hasn't been written yet. Who hasn't met everyone she's going to love. Who hasn't stood in all the places she'll someday stand. I don't know her yet.
Good.
I want her to surprise me.
That whole section is rooted in what you actually say about future Jen: wanting her to care less, have better boundaries, surprise you, and experience things you can't even imagine from where you're sitting now.
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